Apathetically Speaking...

Hi there, There are a few topics I'd like to blabber on ( I am so sleepy but can't seem to sleep ) , which are: 1) Adulthood I am not particularly fond of it nor do I hate it. It's a love-hate relationship between the phase in life and I. I am aware of the new venture in my life, whereby the responsibilities keep on accumulating and continuing to strangle their trails around your neck; but you don't die, yet. You're just trying to stay alive, surviving. *snorts* The description kind of makes me sound like a sado-masochist person, which I am not by the way (reminded by Albert Fish' s fiendish crimes). 2) One-sided Crushes Oh, no. Here we go again. The heart-wrenching moment in a single person's life, the longing for the idea to be loved by someone special yet in reality is not fully prepared to embrace it. I've had a few crushes since I started working at AAX. The list keeps on changing and so far, no one has ever been on the list for long because...

Why do I still have that feelings for you? I know you have moved on. I know I am. Am I? I guess I don't really know then. I am sad. 

People. People. People. Definition : Entities that spill out craps and spew out bullshits anywhere, anytime.

Yeay! I've landed myself my first official job as a Purchasing Executive at Air Asia X. Such jolly occasion should be celebrated with *drum rolls* sleeping all day this Sunday. Okay, goodnight. Oh, yeah, happy birthday to you. Yes, YOU. May Allah bless you and your beloved ones always.

Should I go for my heart or my brain? Should I listen to the beating of the drum or engross myself in sensibility? Should I "ache and torn apart" or "stay still and soullessly complete"? So many shoulds what even

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." —   Mark Twain (via  naturaekos )

What is life, anyway? Often we are presented with this question, mockingly or just dead plain serious with an apathetic stare. Some say that life is a satire, some connote it with depth, and there are others who are lost in thoughts, wondering what should they answer. So, what is life to you?

Last weekend, I went for a jog with a friend. Her name is Khadijah, such a lovely name, isn't it? The beholder of such name is also a lovely person. After the jogging session, we went for lunch at Subway, we were like "strictly no rice" but bread is okay? ( logic ). We had quite a deep conversation and you know, just talked our hearts out. She asked me what I thought about her and I told her about it and I tried to do it nicely as not to hurt her feelings yet I wanted to make sure my opinions came across. The way she reacted afterwards and her comprehension of what I said made me think, "Okay, I guess everything came across nicely". Then, I asked her what she thought of me. She threw her look away and pondered something. She continued, "You're deep and it's like, you have these different masks. You're wearing these masks, and different masks for different people." How did I react? I grinned wickedly and told her I totally agreed ...

It’s Maghrib at the moment so it’s rather peaceful thus making me contemplate to write something down. You know, I have been feeling down for quite sometimes ever since my graduation. Mind you, graduation is not equivalent to convocation (I just knew that so I think I should let you know it too). Perhaps “feeling down” is quite normal slash ordinary slash common to use. Perhaps I should use the word “apathetic” or “emotionally lost” or “there’s a void inside me”. Perhaps I should use more of a vulgar word like “ I-don’t-give-a-fuck ” (but that’s more of a sentence?). Or perhaps I should lie straight to your face and tell you “I’ve been feeling okay for the past few months so no worries (inserts smiley face). There are so many possibilities yet those ‘maybes’ are all true.  *drum rolls*  I have been feeling all of the above.  *inserts dramatic music* I honestly believe that sadness is better than apathy. Why might you ask? I don’t know…it feels alive...

The thing about watching K-dramas, I don't know what turns me on when it comes to watching K-dramas. I mean, other countries have their own drama universe but WHY do I often get sucked into their universe? I thought I have had my fair share of watching every drama universe that exists which is commercially available in Malaysia. I watch the UK/US series and I have managed to find a few Irish ones that suit my taste so WHAT IS IT about K-dramas that makes them top the list? Even J-dramas come second (T-dramas and the UK/US are probably tied). I wonder. p/s: currently watching Descendants of the Sun. Don't let me start fangirling over that drama. *UGH*

You know what's funny? Nothing. Nothing is funny.